Digital Raven (digitalraven) wrote,
Digital Raven

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May Already?

I don't know where time's going these days. It's fucking May already. Last night was supposedly Beltaine. Didn't even realise till this morning, save some comments on my Frends page about celebrations, parties, fun shit that yet again I didn't get to see. My celebration was a Silk Cut and a conspiracy story in my head, walking in the wind-swept night before coming back to coffee and stuff to do. One of these days I'll see a real celebration, though as always I'm not holding my breath for when.

Fuck. May. Only 17 days until I increment the descriptor of my temporal existence. Less than a season left before I'll have been living back here for a year, just me and the stories in my head and nowhere near enough meaningful human contact. Just jobhomeworksleepjob, endless repetition of the same dull shit. Hull as an attitude, always dragging me back, dragging me away to a room in front of a keyboard with only my mind to play in. Reminds me of a Maiden song, can I play with madness? Going to have to if I don't get out of here soon.

All my problems could be solved by getting drunk, getting high and getting laid. All three goals are far too far from happening.

I don't know why this veered into melancholy and self-pity, it just did.

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