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First public entry in a while. Suppose I had better recap.

Had a suicidal breakdown last Sunday. While I've recovered from wanting to kill myself the lingering depression isn't going away any time soon. I've spent the last week recovering to this point. I may well seem hollow or forced in general conversation for the time being because I am masking the worst parts of me from the world. This is also my reason for being more surly or caustic than normal (I know, let's get all the "is that possible" jokes out of the way right now).

In general, I don't want to talk about it — especially not conversations that include phrases like "you shoudl do $foo" — though specific cases may alter that. I also don't want a load of ego-wank "Aww! I was worried!" comments. If you were worried, you'd have taken the seconds it takes to get to my userinfo and contacted me yourself in that week of hearing nothing. I do read my damn e-mail, after all.

So, there you go. That's been my week.

Comments

( 4 informants — We want information! )
my_lovers_eyes
May. 8th, 2004 08:28 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm sorry things were/are shitty.
brettdanger
May. 8th, 2004 09:05 pm (UTC)
Crud.
Whilst I'll hold back the "Aww" comments, I will say that it is upsetting to know that someone who I think it Super-Mega-Awesome(TM) is in such a bad place.

Believe me when I say I know how you feel, or at least I've been somewhere very similar. The best advice I can give is to keep forcing yourself to remember that things have been and thus can be much better than they are and therefore it's worth holding out and waiting/fighting for those better times.

Breathe, eat, fight, try to sleep. And whenever possible indulge in the warmth of the love of those around you.

Best wishes Stew, you've got whatever warped Australian juju I can summon flowing your way.
aerdran
May. 8th, 2004 09:17 pm (UTC)
I just want to throw in my hopes that you feel better soon, for what they're worth. I know that those feelings are nothing to sneeze at, and we all really do care about you, even those of us who know you less well.

Take care of yourself, Stew.
amokk
May. 9th, 2004 02:37 pm (UTC)
But you should go $foo, you'll feel better.
( 4 informants — We want information! )

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