Admittedly, today's was so obvious it might have been a ringer. Anyone who has a Hotmail account user name of "dr____death" is broadcasting their own lack of higher brain functions for the world to see already. Compounding this was a handle which wrapped right off the top of Gaim's message view, which I have set long enough for most people. Worse, it was gaming related. Even worse, it was related to the kind of retarded pap twelve year olds on crack call gaming, the sort that goes on about Abominations with true magic and Desert Eagles. And silver katanas.
See, I'd let this person get as far as being able to message me and already I was in possession of all the facts I need to justify harvesting his organs for
I am an Old Fashioned Bastard. Online introductions, where not facilitated through some community such as a message board or a mailing list, should generally be made via e-mail. Instant messenger makes dangerous assumptions, to wit: a) I want to communicate with you in real-time, rather than taking my sweet time with a glass of
But I digress.
But wait! This could just be someone I know being sarcastic in some way, so I issue my standard Intelligence Request Packet. I would attempt to translate the train-wreck of "language" that I found in response after a ridiculous interval, but reading through the logs it's not that bad. I'm disappointed, or maybe this was an upper-class idiot. Not realising that "know" is in fact four letters is a strike against, as is not being sure whether it is using "you" or "u" in the lingo du jour. The response basically questions my attitude (so it's ignorant, and should have e-mailed first), then I am informed that my e-mail address is being circulated between gamers. My response involves sex and travel. It's an idiot, and staying around much longer — especially with an offensively long handle &madsh; is unhealthy.
Why do such people exist? Why are there people whom I know will be dumb before they send their first message that bother to contact me, and why do these people then express incredulity when told that they are idiots who should fuck themselves? This is a question nobody will ever know the answer to. This episode does demonstrate a good point in an amusing manner, though: Think before you contact me: Are you an idiot? If so, at least use e-mail...
: The intelligent people out there will already have noticed the "generally". The cases already mentioned and ones like them are exceptions. This rant does not apply to them. But they are being brushed over with this footnote because sometimes it's more therapeutic to say "Fuck the world" than "Fuck the world, apart from Margate and Southend-on-Sea because I rather like those bits"
: "Who are you and why are you cool enough that I should care?" I'm an egotistical bastard, what did you expect?
: A gender neutral pronoun. Also, a handily dehumanizing one.