Read the parody site linked if you've not already seen it. It contains much better info than the real thing. if only it was the real one...
"Run! They've blown up the palace!"
"Wait! Dixons' window is intact. Remember the advice in that guide that the government blokes put out."
"Oh, yeah. Here, use this brick."
"Cheers. Want anything while I'm in there?"
"Nah. I couldn't run like fuckery with a 41" plasma screen TV or a new and overpriced PC."
"Fair dos, old son. Get the beers in, will you."
"Right-o. See you later!"