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Fast Fiction Week: Day 5

Rain streams from the sky, splashing off my hat and the back of the dead man in front of me. Moore hadn't been dead ten minutes ago, when he'd left my office to get the Pandora file. But he'd not made it to his safe, so it looks like I'm at a dead end.

I like people thinking that I've got to give up. It makes them sloppy.

Benito's got the police department under his thumb so I don't call it in. Instead, I headed straight for the address Moore had scribbled on the back of his card before leaving. There was a safe there, just no combination.

A pair of goons burst through the door. Wonderful. I socked the first in the guts, but the second nearly got me. That's when Alyssa walked in, clubbing him with the butt of her pistol.

"Shit. You're Pandora."

"Yeah. Just a pity you had to find out, Max. Still, you won't do anything. I know you'd never touch a lady."

She walked towards me, taking her time. As soon as she's close enough, I pop her one in the jaw and she folds.

"Ma'am, you ain't no lady."

I turned back to the safe.

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coaldustcanary
Aug. 30th, 2004 09:45 pm (UTC)
It's better after that little revision we talked about, but I still think this one flows a bit oddly, all told. It just doesn't have the snazz of the earlier ones, though I'm not sure why. I think maybe this is one of those stories that flash fiction can't do justice unto.

On the other hand, I like the dialogue. That's snappy.
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