Digital Raven (digitalraven) wrote,
Digital Raven


This is another reason why I will l will likely never be interviewed properly.
I Heart The 90s
First of all, were you born in the mid/late 80s?Not unless your definition of "mid/late" is fucked. On the other manipulatory appendage, you are American...
If so, what year?1981 is distinctly "Early 80's", thank you very much.
Did you own any jelly shoes?*google* No. $DEITY, no. I thought they were evil back then and still do. you still have them?If I had owned any, I would have sacrificed them a long time ago.
What was your favorite Power Ranger?See, this is where being "early 80s" makes this thing fall down, given that the "skintight suited ninja idiots" craze came later than the point where I stopped watching such crap.
Could you name all of the Ninja Turtles?Maybe, since they were named after painters. But I have been drunk since then, so I could well be wrong.
Name as many as you can.Da Vinci, Raphael, Michaelangelo and thing. And there was some fucking great rat. Oh, and some freak who looked like a the robot mode of a food processor Transformer. (Aside: Christ, that would have been a lame Transformer. No, really. Maybe when marketting the products to girls, but expecting boys to buy a food processor just because the robot was spiky? Wouldn't ever have worked.)
Who's cooler... Alex Mac or Clarissa?Depends if Alex Mac was a)female (assumed for the purposes of this question) and b)looks anything like the Anime Mac Girls. If so, her. If not... hard to say, as I was rather too distacted by Clarissa to wonder whether she was cool or not.
Did you ever try to climb up a ladder to your best friend's room?No. I was crap at climbing as a kid, something that hasn't carried over to my adult life. I can shin up a drainpipe pretty well and scale industrial freezers when bored and working in a supermarket.
How many times did you watch 'Scream'?Once. It was on a coach trip, when I could have been doing something productive, like sleeping.
...did you think it was scary?Scream was supposed to be scary? Not a chance. As a bad comedy, it almost worked. As a basic "chicks in tight tops" flick it was rather passable. But scary it certainly wasn't.
Did you own a pair of Zubaz?WTF? *google* Fucking Yank-centric bollocks of a quiz... What an interesting design. By which I of course mean "What the HELL were you people thinking?" many...what color?None. Thank fuck.
Weren't Koosh Balls fun as hell?For five minutes, maybe more. Then you shrug and toss them to the neighbor's dog in the hopes that the loud bastard would choke so you could let your mum wake you up rather than being up at the crack of bloody dawn every morning.
Eh... what were they for, anyway?Choking other people's pets, wasting the money of the parents of impressionable little creatures.
How many Beanie Babies did you own?None. Never saw the appeal, never cared.
Did your mother ever have to tackle somebody for one?No. My dad nearly broke someone's arm for an Optimus Prime, once. The one Christmas that they spent a month looking for my present. The violence was rewarded, I was well chuffed.
Did you/your parents cry when Kurt died?Not really. As the Ascension of the Grunge Rocker fair dos, but the Godheads of music remain John Lennon and Freddie Merury. They're easier to summon as well, you don't need to fuck yourself up on heroin and eat a shotgun shell. you think Courtney did it?Fuckit, why not? And Elvis loves on the moon, in a bus withLord Lucan and King Kong
Did your parents vote for Clinton?No, because unlike the creator of this lemming thing they live on Airstrip One, an outpost that still maintains the illusion of autonomy and by way of this is totally divorced from the USian political system. I know that they never voted for the Iron Bitch, though.
How did they react to the whole "Monica" ordeal?The same way as any sane person; they ignored it. So he stuck his dick in an intern, JFK did a lot worse but people don' hear about it because the running-dog capitalist junta of the US America decided it best to silence a potentially dangerous figurehead. Kennedy wouldn have stuck it in mud if he thought it'd wriggle.
Did you watch Friends?A couple of times, with the Psycho Ex. I have no idea why. Some bits were good, most was mas-market bollocks for the dumber end of the American audience. Hell, they only recorded two episodes...
Who's your favorite character?I dunno. Of the two flavours of episodes, I have two favourites. The One Where the Wacky Blonde Chick Acts Even Wackier is the sarcastic one. The One Where They Crack Some Jokes Then You Realise That These Twentysomethings Are All In Their Late Thirties is any of the females, for the obvious visual reason.
What is your favorite 'Friends' expression?Do me a lemon. A quiz about children of the 80s and 90s yields questions about relatively recent American politics, Ninja Turtles, and Yank "comedy" soap operas? What kind of fucking quiz is this? Are these questions memetically active to destroy creative and questioning thought? Is that why the Clinton affair was brought up, to implant the subconscious message that he was BAD and that Bush was somehow a good alternative? Not that Gore would have been any better. Tipper Gore, the proponant of "Free Speech Needs Limits -- for the cheeeeeeeeeldrun!", a perfectly reasonable sentiment. By which, I of course mean OW FUCK MY BRAIN you lunatic bitch!
What is your favorite 'Seinfeld' expression?I'm on to you now. You're using this quiz to trigger memory keys implanted by repeated viewing of crap American comedy. What meme-engines these keys are supposed to unlock I don't yet know but I assume that they are a combination of weaponised ideas that delete critical thought and promote a lowbrow or non-existant sense of humour. I've got you now, shiteyes.
Who's worse... Barney or Tinkie-Winkie?Both. Television is a propaganda tool that infects the minds of the young. Barney giving the impression that dinosaurs were a)small, b)purple, and c)cuddly rather than a)really fucking big, b)scaled or feathered, and c)the kinds of creatures that would crush your children like the young, stupid monkeys theat they are. Tinky Winky is a symbol of a Thatcherite conspiracy to have a perfect world. But he did get fired for fucking one of the others backstage while still in the big purple pervert suit. What the fuck is with the symbols of childhood stupidity and the colour purple? And what connection is there with the film, "The Colour Purple"? Speculation left as an excercise for the reader.
Did your family have a fallout shelter for 'Y2K'?No. Y2K was a big excuse for people to a)hack ancient COBOL programs, which is their punishment for being dumb enough to use COBOL, and all the rest of the IT industry holing themselves up to get a massive consultancy bonus to buy new year beer with.
Where were you and what were you doing on New Year's eve, 1999?A crap party, thrown by family friends of the Psycho Ex, where I didn't get nearly as drunk as I wanted to be.
And finally... what is your favorite thing about the 90s?I was younger the world was simpler and this is a telempathic attack of nostalgia, isn't it? I'm not falling for it, you bastards. The 90's didn't have much good between bad acid house and worse "girl power" shite. But there was a few years when the music was good, when Oasis and Blur and Pulp and Supergrass and the Manic Street Preachers and Ocean Colour Scene and all that good stuff. Damnit, I succumbed!


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