February 16th, 2003

Thoughtful

(no subject)

Curry for breakfast, a nice spicy korma. I'm sat here with my hair still wet from the shower, barely dressed and my brain is on fire. In a good way.

First things first: In the same vein as inscrutable, the big Friends List of Who I Would Beat In A Fight.

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I've been having weird dreams that would probably end up on the Hollywood slush pile were I ever to write about them so I won't. But they've put me in the mind to do something crazy. Well, the dreams and hot_pants' idea of making an Exalted CRPG in the style of Chrono Trigger. I want to do something mad. I want to run a 1920's London Werewolf game, hunting down the Murder Captains, engaging in rooftop chases with fetish pistols blazing when trying to track down the Jaguar Prince, and finding and destroying the joining of Wyrm and Weaver that is the Charnel Ship. I want to do something crazy and mindless and above all fun. I want to break the mold and write something that shouldn't work but does. I want to show the world what wonder should be like, dragging it kicking and screaming into a new way of looking at the world, a less mundane way.

The fact that this will never amount to anything as my only audience is the maybe 30 people that read this journal has not escape me. But today more than usual I want to change the world.

An old friend pinged me over MSN a couple of days ago. Weird, hearing from someone I once was very close to, whom I haven't seen for over a year and a half. it also reminded me of how much I've changed in that time. I'm no longer one of the snuggly mob (not that I was ever much of a part, but I was on the fringes), I have my writing and my degree and I can't be fucked keeping up with everything that goes on with everyone that happened to decide to just vanish one day and reappear a year and a half later. Yes, I've become a harsher person. This is a good thing to be on the Internet, and anyone talking about "making the Internet a safe place" is going to get a free kick in the happy sacks from me. The Internet should not be a "safe place". It should not be accessible to everyone. If you cannot use a computer, why should you be allowed to get on the 'net?

A better idea: Two Internets. The WinBlows lusers can have one, which is nice, pretty and full of fucking Teletubbies holding the hands of little cutesy animated paperclips. The problem will be that there's no real information out there. But thing is, people are nice to each other. The real Internet will be barred from any machine that runs WinBlows. It will be where all the information is held, but if you want to get at it you have to prove that you're computer-savvy enough to not be brainwashed by the Beast of Redmond, and that you have the intelligence and social graces to deal with us. If you can do that then you become one of us. It's an elitist society because that is how things fucking should be, not some "level playing field" bullshit that all these 'blows-using shitheads want to make the 'net. Not everyone is equal online. If you cannot deal with that one simple little fact, get the fuck off the net. It's elitist but it is right to be that way and fuck the lot of people that want milk and fucking cookies every time someone "hurts their feelings".

I finally got around to playing Natural Selection. It is fantastic. If this replaces Counter-Strike I shall not shed a tear. It captures the one thing that CS can never have: It's fun for new players. They can jump in, learn the game in a reasonably short space of time and actually feel like they are a contributing part of a team, rather than being fast and easy frags for the other team and nothing else. Go out, get Half Life, get Natural Selection, go Marines and wait for me and stormys to eat you.

I'm in one of those moods where I make something really great and then break it out of a perverse sense of hatred of the world.
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