February 15th, 2005

Happy

Random Walk in Stew's Head

I didn't do this properly before. It's a way of breaking connections cleanly, rather than letting them snap and bleed and fuck up any chance of return. Maybe it's my own sense of nostalgia, maybe a compulsion to relive old love and old hurt. Maybe it's a magical act to disconnect myself. Maybe it's me wanking on my state of mind.

In reality, it's all of those things and none.

Unlike traditional retrospectives, there's no order to things. it's just as the images and memories hit, helped at the start by the random bits of music in my ears. I'm not walking this, but I can see the scenes I get with such clarity I don't need to. Not entirely. Some of this, especially the ruminations on old girlfriends, has gone before. Deal with it.

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