April 29th, 2005

Brainiac

Rambling

Forgot to buy coffee. Remembered that I had filter stuff instead. This is good.

Four hours sleep again. Not helped by remembering my bag was still at KJ's when I got home. Still not enough to dampen my spirits. Last night was really rather enjoyable. I don't recognise akicif now, for he has no hair.

If today takes a year to go by, then I will be annoyed. Foetenbras don't fail me now. Tonight will be spent being domestic, unless anything mad happens. Have to be up early tomorrow as well.

Tomorrow it all happens. I both want it to be here faster and still be ages away at the same time.
Quizzical

Pop

Head's gone pop again. Not in the big messy way, this is more a silent fizzle while I work out who I am. That's why people who know me know different mes, the personality shards I pick up off others to make up for not being sure I really exist without people around, rather than the caricatures that are my broken thoughtmodels of them.

Thoughtmodel. What a fucking ugly word.

Tore down the bio blurb. Replaced it with the Big List of Online Presence. Right now I know what I do. Who I am is a question for later.

Can a sense of self be made from the knowledge that one no longer possesses a sense of self? Does that make not having a sense of self impossible? What's a revolutionary without a revolution?

Normal service should resume in a few days.