April 29th, 2005



Forgot to buy coffee. Remembered that I had filter stuff instead. This is good.

Four hours sleep again. Not helped by remembering my bag was still at KJ's when I got home. Still not enough to dampen my spirits. Last night was really rather enjoyable. I don't recognise akicif now, for he has no hair.

If today takes a year to go by, then I will be annoyed. Foetenbras don't fail me now. Tonight will be spent being domestic, unless anything mad happens. Have to be up early tomorrow as well.

Tomorrow it all happens. I both want it to be here faster and still be ages away at the same time.


Head's gone pop again. Not in the big messy way, this is more a silent fizzle while I work out who I am. That's why people who know me know different mes, the personality shards I pick up off others to make up for not being sure I really exist without people around, rather than the caricatures that are my broken thoughtmodels of them.

Thoughtmodel. What a fucking ugly word.

Tore down the bio blurb. Replaced it with the Big List of Online Presence. Right now I know what I do. Who I am is a question for later.

Can a sense of self be made from the knowledge that one no longer possesses a sense of self? Does that make not having a sense of self impossible? What's a revolutionary without a revolution?

Normal service should resume in a few days.