While I return to normal, here's something I promised earlier.
Quantum Decision Theory
It's a simple thing, really. Though perhaps rather solipsistic in nature. It hinges on something simple. There exists a set of events that apply to me. Said events have a broad spectrum of outcomes, groupable into good and bad outcomes. So far, so fucking obvious. However. The outcome of the events is an unknown. They usually hinge on on-the-day stuff, like exams, or long term preparation. I can alter things about the stuff that generates the result (studying for exam, for example), but the result is still an unknown.
The result exists in a range on the spectrum that is fixed by my earlier efforts. This fixed range always incorporates some bad results. (Results taken from experience. Unfortunately.) Analysis has shown that while the constant inclusion of a level of good outcomes would be nicely symmetric, I've not experienced enough good results to comment on it.
So. We have this result, and it's on a continuum. I don't usually fuck up bad enough to weight it down too much. So let's say that there's better than average odds of it going good. I should be happy, hoping for it to come up good, right?
At this point, the outcome is in a superimposed state akin to Schrödinger's cat before opening the box. Until I become aware of it, the outcome is not fixed. The two key things that can affect the result are hoping/dreaming/believing that the outcome will be good before it actually has manifested itself to me, and having other people know about the situation (because they hope for me, think about it, and generally accumulate a lot of psychic static on the whole idea). The more favourable attention that the idea has, from myself or others, the less likely it is that I'll get a positive outcome.
Hence why I don't tell people about big things in advance that they don't have to know about. Hence why I don't like it when people wish me luck. Hence why I get snappish when I ask people to keep things secret and they don't, with the excuse of "But it's only X, she can keep it under her hat". She shouldn't fucking need to, and her doing so damn near collapses the waveform.
I could also be ratty with people because, after a harrowing week, I've finally gone more than 60 hours without nicotine.
This is an imperfect rendering of the situation into words. The idea here is to get linguistic. Fuck with the subconscious expectations and slowly change the system by discussing it to death. Work on the same level as the problem.