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Body's not taking the lack of nicotine well. Even with increased caffeine intake my whole body feels like it's weighted down with bricks. I remember this. I remember this from all the other times I had to quit, how it was by far and away the thing that stopped them so soon after they started. All the times I've made it past two weeks I've not had a week of hectic stress and insanity. Then again, I've not had little things like no money for cigarettes those weeks. Hopefully, I shall persevere. At least until Friday night, last a whole week. Then any slips are just me rebalancing again. If not... I'll give it another go in January.

Concurrent with this, I've been getting less sleep. My eyes are ringed worse than a crack-addled raccoon, no more than five and a half hours a night because my brain's not kicking in until later and later and I can't get to sleep when I have an idea in my head. Which is not good. I can't push myself harder, tribalist or no. Part of me wants to ride the crest of sleep deprivation and insanity in some mad occult dash of ideas. The rest wants to curl up in a warm bed without the bother of alarm clocks. I'm hoping I can find some kind of mid-point.

BBC news tells the story of yet another scientific study showing that yes, we humans are fucking up our planet's climate. They then have an interview with the guy in Washington who deals with this, claiming that an isolated study can't show any real results. Which would be true if the study were isolated, but it's just the latest in a long line. Unfortunately, the BBC didn't mention that this guy is in fact a shill for America's big oil companies, his position bought with money that is the direct product of them fucking up our planet. Of course he's going to dismiss it, to do otherwise would be to speak against the wishes of the Oil Borg's collective hand that's shoved up his arse to puppet him. Fucking "fair and balanced reporting" is destroying accurate news.

Christ, I haven't felt this bad since drinking two litres of unleaded drink thinking it was four star. Bad "nu metal" wank from my brother's speakers at stupidly low quality, the trashy soundtrack to a crap video featuring a tricked-out ricer box. Damn him and all his ricer fuck mates. It's that or hearing him wank on about Neopets on his fucking mobile.

Too much to do tonight. Not enough time to do it in.

First thing I need to do is get rid of this fucking beard.

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