Digital Raven (digitalraven) wrote,
Digital Raven

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A collection of thoughts

The past few days it's been nice here. Scratch that It's been fucking glorious, warm and lots of sun. My room's been sun-warmed every morning by the time I wake up. Hence, I'm in the kind of happy mood where I swing through the streets of the city, cracking skulls and kicking groins with a merry grin and a spring in my step, because I am myself and I am cheered by the weather.

The dissertation, on the other hand... Ouch. I found that the encryption/decryption using the AES has a bug in it, in that whilst it comes out with an encrypted output, that output doesn't decrypt into anything like the original input. After near cracking my skull open over it, I've decided to tell that to be on it's way. Instead, this weekend I'm working on the user-interface and key generation. I thought the latter was going to be problematic (see the post about randomly generated primes), but I have a source of salvation: Octet streams of random digits. It does mean that generating keys will require the machine to be online, though I can add a workaround to that once I have the rest of it working. Expect to hear joyous cries when I have all of this working on Monday (as if).

Other stuff... the group assignment has been handed in and presented. Hopefully, this means I will never touch Mathematica again. It is a bloated monstrosity of a package that claims to be good at what it does. Sorry, but I'll take Math::* for Perl any day of the week.

I've finally started watching KTV again, and I have to say that despite my earlier complaints about the video to By The Way, Can't Stop makes up for it. That's how it should be, just weird enough. I need more weirdness. It's my need to write yearning to get out, but it's being stifled by the fact that every time I'm not working I'm either drunk, stoned or too bored to put fingers to keyboard. Which is a pity as I have a need to come up with some stone cold Weird Shit. I need semiotic nightmares and Murder Colonels and crow girls and the Charnel Ship and ancient legends and modernist paradigms and futurist tech cast in old paradigms.

Of course, I know perfectly why this is. Yet another person I know (etherlad) is freelancing for White Wolf. Some days it feels like there's a dwindling number of the people I know and respect that aren't. I know why I'm not, if I'm honest with myself: I'm shit-scared. I've done no writing professionally. My chances of getting a really tight submission are depleted simply because my chosen focus has nothing to do with any of the game-lines I want to write for. Thus I'm scared I'll never have an idea that's good enough, I'll never hit on the spark that others seem to find without a problem. Compounded with me having no knowledge of what needs sending, what should be sent... I've been in touch with developers about this, but I still don't have the understanding of someone who's tried this before. So my cowardice cripples me. Maybe I'll have a better chance once my dissertation's complete. Yeah. Any reason to put off actually doing something.

Anyhow. On another train of thought entirely, I need to see Equilibrium as soon as possible. Then again, I haven't seen Two Towers yet, through a combination of really shitty coincidences. But I'd rather see Equilibrium and the Matrix sequels. I can stomach and even enjoy a well done piece of generic fantasy like the LOTR films, but give me decent sci-fi and I'm happy as a pig in shit.

So, now I've bared my inner cowardice and no doubt annoyed a fair few fantasy fans, I'll sign off.
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