So. Anyway. I have come to a realisation. I am sexier than Buddah and harder than Jesus. I cannot die.
What I can do is forget things, and generally be an arse at random points in time. Hence, I am accepting applicants for the psot of assistant. Two vacancies total. I've lowered the qualifications to "female" and "insane enough to want the job".
Any takers? Your primary duties would be to assist me when drunk, put up with vitriolic rants and random shouting, and remember things for me. Inspiring ideas is a bonus. Being able to stop me being an arse (by application of blunt object to head) is a bonus as well. Helping me carry out killing sprees and random acts of senseless violence is mandatory.
Yes, I might have had something to drink right before posting this. So what?
Apply by leaving a comment. Successful ones will be informed when I awaken from the sleep of the Damned. Sometime on Thursday, probably.