Digital Raven (digitalraven) wrote,
Digital Raven
digitalraven

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Filthy Assistants

It's twenty past four on a Sunday morning. So it's nearly-bedtime on Saturday night by my installed timezone. Some fool just suggested that he watch the new Doctor Who for the first time and I had to berate him for not having downloaded it before now. It's a thing of mine.

So. Anyway. I have come to a realisation. I am sexier than Buddah and harder than Jesus. I cannot die.

What I can do is forget things, and generally be an arse at random points in time. Hence, I am accepting applicants for the psot of assistant. Two vacancies total. I've lowered the qualifications to "female" and "insane enough to want the job".

Any takers? Your primary duties would be to assist me when drunk, put up with vitriolic rants and random shouting, and remember things for me. Inspiring ideas is a bonus. Being able to stop me being an arse (by application of blunt object to head) is a bonus as well. Helping me carry out killing sprees and random acts of senseless violence is mandatory.

Yes, I might have had something to drink right before posting this. So what?

Apply by leaving a comment. Successful ones will be informed when I awaken from the sleep of the Damned. Sometime on Thursday, probably.
Tags: alcohol, assistants
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  • 26 comments

  • (no subject)

    I can just tell, given the state of my hangover, that the bus to work is going to be packed with screaming fucking children. And when I get to work,…

  • Last Night/nMage

    Work department meeting yesterday. Hence, upon leaving the piss-up afterwards around 7, I was slightly inebriated (ten bottles of Tiger will do that…

  • Another last night roundup

    Seemingly, I'm still alive. Though there are telltale twinges in my extensors that say "go easy on your fucking back, son". Whether I can listen or…