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Questions from joexnz

1. when did verbal expressions of violence become a suitable form of emotional expression.

For me, or in general? If the latter, I'd make a case for Shakespeare or Marlowe. For me, probably sometime when I got my first serious hit of misanthropy. We're not talking the "We should reduce the population by 99.5%" general dislike of the population, but a burning hatred for people in general and lots of people I interacted with a lot in specific. Verbal expressions of violence are a form of bypassing the bog-standard response to people being insulted, where they shrug it off. I elevated it to an art form, the cut and thrust of the perfect flame designed to let people know exactly that I didn't like them and to let them know that if indeed I were there in person I would be violent. After all, I've always had problems with anger management. That bled over into real life as a way to warn people before I got violent for what others thought was no good reason. It's a cue that yes, I really am about to get physically nuts, and I'd rather bleed some of it off rather than attacking people, but I'm close to swinging wildly and hurting people if needs be.

2. what was the last romantic gesture you made to someone.

I don't rightly know. Not because I don't make romantic gestures (at least, I hope that's not the reason), but because I'm not one for the overblown two-dozen-red-roses-and-a-four-star-hotel type stuff. I do what I do, and I try to be romantic about it when coaldustcanary is involved, but I don't set out to make romantic gestures. I bet she could mention some things, but they doubtless wouldn't strike me as being romantic, just me being me when I'm around her. Which makes me sound like a bit of a cock, to people who expect the whole overblown romanticism thing, but I've no idea how it works beyond what I do already.

3. if you were no longer allowed black in your wardrobe what colour would replace it

White. Everything that I have that's black or charcoal grey replaced with white. I'd even bleach my hair to the point of actual whiteness. It'd take more washing, but it'd be a different look. Plus, I could get away with the kinds of thing I wear now, without any trouble. None of this differing colour malarkey, that just annoys me. Something simple and monochrome is easy enough to handle, and so white it is. The white hair would aid the "Holy shit, what have you done" factor.

4. If you could change just one thing in your past, what would it be? Why and how would it change who you are?

I'd go back and tell myself to actually do some fucking work during the month leading up to my A-levels. That way, I'd have got an A in maths and computer science, a B in physics, and a C in further maths, significantly better than what I did get. I could still have got those with the vast amounts of playing hookie that I did, just as long as I had done something in the time before the exams. Assuming I did that, I'd not have gone to Stafford. My university choices would have been York or Edinburgh. If I'd have gone to Edinburgh, I wouldn't have spent so long in Stafford wishing I was up here already with someone I knew (gominokouhai), and I wouldn't have gone anywhere once I had left. Assuming I graduated, the courses here appear more difficult but also much more interesting than the ones I went through. If York, I'd have been closer to home than I was and would probably not have the home/¬home dichotomy that I do now, as well as learning more shit. Of course, in either case I'd not have gone to Germany and much more wouldn't have happened either, so I'd be a different person. One with more stories, but less life already lived.

5. is there something you wish you said more often, or less ofen

I wish I could say "Indeed" less often. I most often use it as a placeholder for "You're saying something and I can't respond to it but it's obvious to me that you have more to say, so I'd better say something and hope that you start being interesting or say something that I have an actual response to." It's not that I want to find another phrase to replace the one I have, I wish instead that situations where I would use the phrase would come up a lot less often, so that my brain would be fired more and more when I'm not in the pub.

What do I want to say less often? I don't have anything specific. I'd like to eat less foot tikka masala than I do now, but it's not enough of a danger to stop the general stream of words. I like being a mouthy bastard, it can be amusing, and if it sometimes (or often) means I say something I don't mean, then shit happens. Though it does mean that sometimes I need someone to redline my words before I speak them.

This is where you beg for questions

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( 2 informants — We want information! )
joexnz
Nov. 29th, 2005 11:24 pm (UTC)
i'd kinda like to see you with white hair
coaldustcanary
Dec. 2nd, 2005 02:07 am (UTC)
It might be visually stunning, but the sheer chemical power it would require to turn his hair white would also burn it up spectacularly, so I'll go with a nay vote here.
( 2 informants — We want information! )

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