Feeling somewhat weird in the head. Like I'm not too certain about being in my skin, like everything's being written by Tim Powers and directed by David Lynch in a bizarre Unknown Armies style twisted reality. I don't know why, I just know that King's Hall looked like there should be running gunfights going on in front of it and the whole city feels like it's twisting around me. Hearkens back to what dragal23 and I were talking about on our way to TNAC, about the city shifting around us and the wrong set of turnings leading one to walk down a street as it was five years ago. I don't know why, but I've been getting that feeling these past couple of days.
But enough of that. Given that the odds are on that I'll not update before Hogmanay, I'd be best doing a quick retrospective of the year. I missed out on one last year, mostly because I knew I'd be moving and wanted to do a Hull Retrospective instead. But I think this year rather deserves one. 2004 was a wasteland for me, a wasted year where I got just about nothing done. I wanted 2005 to be a better year. Did it work? Yes and no.
2005 felt like it was as much a setup for the future as anything.Things happened, but they were a framework for what's to come. I moved to Edinburgh. I got my writerhead screwed on firmly and cranked out chapters for two more books, while seeing my first one in print. I got a new, better, job. I worked my first weekend. I carried a torch at Beltane and organised far too many people at Samhuinn. I rediscovered what it's like to have friends who are physically present. I feared I'd be charged with murder. I got into trouble, I got out of trouble, all without doing too much damage and learning a lot. A shitload has happened this past year, far more than the year before.
I have a nasty feeling that 2006 will be more of the same. More moving forwards towards some nebulous point in the future without actually defiing what or when that point is. But there's an important milestone: I hit 25 in May. If nothing else, I get the feeling that '05 and the start of '06 will be much the same: me trying to fill out my life before I hit that marker. 21 left me hollow, but by 25 I'll have caught up. At least, that seems to be the way the years are going. I have some goals that'll better facilitate that, but I'll save them until I'm sure of them.
Time to shave, and see if that does my head any better.
: Though that may well be because I haven't shaved since Saturday and am thus reprising my role as the wolfman. In related news, need to give the beard a trim without getting rid of it. Suggestions?
: I can't get rid of it. I'd look twelve years old again, and wandering into a pub the best I'd get is a half of lemonade and a packet of crisps. Beer would be right out.