Workwise, I've made a breakthrough. But if anyone can come up with a good reason why modulo exponentiation can't be broken down into modulo reduction after applying each of the multiplicands, please let me know, as that's going to break something major. But I shall bore those without technical knowledge no longer.
One thing I have noticed is that whenever I'm working, I go through salt and vinegar Squares[1] like nobody's business. This is a problem, as it's an expensive addiction. Still, what the hell.
Bear situation: Rugged and manly. Pictures to follow at some point.
[1]: A kind of crisp over here