Digital Raven (digitalraven) wrote,
Digital Raven
digitalraven

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Some things never change



Yes, more bitching and moaning about being at home. What, you expected fucking poetry or something?

Work... Fuck work. Though I've managed to get the modulus exponentiation working in an efficient manner, I'm having to go on pure guesswork for a decent magnitude to use. The old one, time was proportional to n (the power I'm raising it to). I was able to use 108 before serious slowdown occurred. Now, processing time is proportional to log2(n). So, the question is how high can I now make n so as to have a similar lack of slowdown as 108? Anyone have any ideas, as I can't get my hands on any log tables high enough...

Other work news: I can't find a pure-Perl implementation of the AES for bug hunting reasons, so I have to pick through some C/Perl combination code. Ugh, I hate vgrepping program source.Not that any but two of you reading this know what I'm going on about, so fuck you all.

Shit, I need to get this finished by the end of the weekend. Fucking AI assignment. Bollocks to all of it

I hate dial up. I hate it with an intense passion. Yesterday and today I've been trying to work, yet I've needed Google close by. Of course, I'm on dial up. My parents yell at me if I tie up the phone lines before half nine in the evening. Thus, five hours later I've played some Fallout Tactics and completely lost the thread. That, and the lack of speed. Fuck, I miss my meg cable line. I need to get back to Staffs as soon as I can. This place is doing my nut.

What worries me is the way I'm having trouble writing here. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem at all. In Staffs, I find tome to write the same way an alcoholic finds time to drink. I've not managed half a page since I've been here. To my credit, I'm forcing myself to at least come up with preliminaries for a couple of pieces. One's in a rather new format for me, so with any luck I can hammer the words into a form that makes sense. If I can get anything written, that is.

I don't know what it is about being dragged back here that's leading to the depression. It's possibly something to do with the way I'm paraded around the immediate family, and have to field time and again questions about my graduation, and they all act like I should be happy to get away from university. They're fucking insane. If I could stay on and do a MEng without the program of modules sucking llamas through lint-clogged hosepipes, I would. Anything to avoid having to come back here whilst job-hunting. Fucking parents. Fucking life.

I need to go drink so that I stand a chance of sleeping.


The only way this would be lower would be if I'd done hard drugs or fucked a guy or an animal.

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