Digital Raven (digitalraven) wrote,
Digital Raven

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So yeah. Yesterday was breakdown day. The stress of having so much to do finally got to me and I ended up crying curled up in a chair for half an hour after writing that last entry. I ended up phoning home and getting reassurance and an idea of what to do this week from them. It's just hard, being borderline and having to lock myself away from all contact for the most of each day. Doubly so with Kris not being back while late tomorrow. It's hard for me, coming away from work and having nobody to talk to. I'll survive, hopefully.

I got a shade over 6000 words written today and I'm about halfway through my research section. Finish that tomorrow and I should get the Analysis at least halfway done. Fuck getting the programs to work. I can look at that some time when I'm not crazy.

I'm having to modulate what I listen to. I know how bad some music can get to me, unfortunately this music (Radiohead, Ocean Colour Scene and the like) is the stuff I work best to. I've thus dug out the musicals, but even so I'm burning through music fast. I may have to dig back through the collected crap I have kicking around on my hard drive. Working on a computer that has working sound is rather strange, it must be said.

I'm cherishing the moments I spend not working now. Went to town before I started work, and the people I saw... It was weird. I hate being shut in like this. I need people around other than just Steve and John. I need... I need to feel like this again.

As soon as I finish this writeup, I'm starting writing again hardcore, letting out all of the anxiety and all of the stress and all of the bullshit I've been through in the only way I can. I cannot keep all of this crap bottled up like this much longer. I need a release.

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