#1. Websites must not have embedded music. This is the Web, not a cunting jukebox.
#1.i (Punishment) Those who create, host, design, or are in other ways responsible for the publication of websites with embedded music will have limbs and primary sexual organs removed with an angle grinder.
#2 Webshites that play embedded music must not play Christmas music.. This applies to any web browser including those authored by the Beast of Redmond. Slade is right out.
#2.i (Punishment) Morons who, in a public area, visit webshites that break Law #2 and do not immediately navigate away (including such measures as shooting the computer in question) should undergo the HCl variant of Chinese water torture, a.k.a. the Alka-Seltzer torture — plink, plink, fizz.
First, I'm going to visit the MySpace colo sites with an angle grinder attached to a nice chunky generator and a gas-axe. Then I'm going to recharge, buy some more burninatory goodness, and visit all the users. Those I choose to empower as Enforcers of the Law may join me, though be warned that there will be no exceptions for "this guy who's really cool otherwise".
Law #1, motherfuckers.