There's an obvious reason for that: we're still stuck in the 20th century. Everything we've been told about the future is coming true, but precious few people give a fuck. The FDA has approved cloned meat for human consumption in the US, and doesn't even require labelling which meat came from clones. This despite the hideous end of Dolly the Sheep, shitting out her own diseased organs. People are walking around with honest-to-$DEITY bionic arms and legs, replacing removed limbs. The advances that make the future are here now, but the mindset isn't.
The great flexible human consciousness is trapped in the 20th century. We're not looking forwards. As a race, humanity has proved that we can—hell, the 1990s proved that. From acid house to manufactured shite, from Commodore and Spectrum to Intel and AMD. Dialup to DSL. Things changed at a startling pace, and we accepted–embraced–that change.
Not so the last six years. The pace is slowing. The inventions and improvements are still happening, but nobody's picking up on them. Since the turn of the millennium (hell, we can all put a date on it but frankly I'm above that). People want to be comfortable, they don't want the wave of the new. They couldn't care less. This shows up as glorifying the past. Politicians pledge "traditional" values and people vote in droves for them. People want to go back to the 1980s, for fuck's sakes.
It's a weird thing being nostalgic for the future. As an example: I need some cheap bookcases. Simple, thinks I. IKEA do this thing where people suffering the obvious curse of having no car can have goods delivered (for an astronomical cost, but for the amount I'm considering spending it makes sense). I know what I want, I'll stick it on my credit card. It'll all be on the website, right?
The good news is that we're now able to launch the pilot of Shop Online! in January in some parts of the country - first Nottinghamshire, then the Midlands. Then week by week, we'll be covering more and more areas and our ambition is to meet the majority of our mainland UK customers by the end of 2007.
By the end of 2007, IKEA hope to have online shopping sorted out for all of the country. That's bullshit. Online shopping should take at most a month to add to their infrastructure—all it eliminates is the necessity of the aforementioned cursed people to take a day of their lives to venture into the
I'm nostalgic for the future, all right. I remember when the new was cool. Not any more. Now, people want to regress. They've seen that the 21st century means change—how can it not?—and they're scared shitless. People want to crawl back into the hole of the 20th, cowering among the wreckage. And that saddens me.
I don't think we're going to see a New Year for a while yet. The numbers will turn, but we're not moving. When it comes to fiction, Transhumanism shows how technology will change human nature and Cyberpunk shows how it won't. Neither really shows what happens when the world can move on but simply refuses to.
Speaking of nostalgia in a way that I kind of wasn't, everyone who isn't reading Kieron Gillen's excellent Phonogram should hurry up and start. It's a work of nostalgic beauty, and a quest for the dead goddess Britannia—born with the Buzzcocks' "Spiral Scratch EP" and died with the Kula Shaker's "K".
Phonogram taps into the same vibe I was after with my thoughts from an 80's club, channelling Kieron and the KLF's Manual. I didn't write it as well as they did, but it's something I'm going to revisit, I think. A style that I like but a topic that I've not touched enough. Another facet of the Death of the New.
Come on, 2007. Prove me wrong.
: And that's saying something.
: Lit. "Fuck the non-whites, the gays, and the women".
: Fucking cager-bias.
: A true cynic like yours truly would then go on to extrapolate that their business model isn't selling furniture but all the cheap tat with stupid markup that litters the