Digital Raven (digitalraven) wrote,
Digital Raven
digitalraven

Fractures

My back's playing up yet again. Four hours' sleep combined with this combined with the powerful painkillers that are the only thing allowing me motion without truly crippling pain has finally unhinged my perception slightly. But maybe that's just the first stage. I can feel my heartbeat. My blood pressure is even lower than normal, yet I can feel my heart beating like a jackhammer in my chest. Everything seems to flow through it, lines of oneiric energy flowing in an invisible torus from the heart, to the heart, the personal energy field.

The eyes are mirrors and I weep reflection. I'm not smoking anything but blue haze spirals out of my nose and mouth with every breath, combining with my tears into a two-dimensional plane of blue hyperfluid. Droplets of multicoloured liquid light beading on my fingers, flicked away to splash in a rainbow against the wall, the only spots on the wall at all. Photons condensing around me.

A four dimensional hypercube in my forebrain, symbol of a spatial order mankind will never perceive. Edges flow and roll into a hypertorus. Four dimensional bioenergy flowing around every living thing with a heart. The Godhead in the outside of my vision, Freddie Mercury. A hallucinomorphic cult are memegineering Cobain as his replacement but "Teen Spirit" has no rhapsody, blue or otherwise. A chocolate galaxy folds against my naked brain as Freddie looks at me with perfect understanding of things I could never comprehend.

State memory. Psychomemetic imprints only recalled with similar brain chemistry states. Painkillers and ludomancy bringing back images and distorting my sense of time. I am 22. I am 15, with a mild case of glandular fever and a big box of painkiller as my only respite. I am 35, in front of the fire breathing out the same blue hyperfluid only this time it boils and chokes on its way out. Yesterday afternoon is tomorrow morning, my sense of time thrown squarely out of whack.

The first rule I formulate in this state. Set up memory keys, try to recall it before I get this bad. Never read the Invisibles when under the influence of painkillers that are mildly hallucinogenic.
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