Digital Raven (digitalraven) wrote,
Digital Raven

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And I've elided the serious weirdness because of the effects of this high

Even after yesterday my life continues to get weirder. And last night was no easy thing to get through.

For the purposes of posterity (and newcomers who may not know all of this), I'm Stew. I'm a part time substitute teacher with a degree in computing and mathematics. I'm addicted to the Internet to the point of getting withdrawal symptoms. I'm also getting to the point of being a master of the seriously fucking weird. Take a seat for a ride through my consciousness.

A short while after my last entry, my laptop started having problems. As in, major problems. For no good reason,it started running off battery. There was no power cut, a fact I know because the big fucker of a telly I was watching runs off the same wall socket as Oedipus was plugged in to[1]. So the battery runs down, and I'm there thinking "What the fuck is going on here?!" I manage to fire off messages to others letting them know of my predicament, and then the machine dies. No amount of fucking with the wires is getting power in to the machine. It's still what I consider too early to sleep, and by this time I'm panicking. Nothing like this power loss has happened before. That machine is my link to the Internet when I am away from the beauty which is a broadband connection, after all. I tried a lot to fix it, from re-seating all the major connectors inside to attempting some impromptu machine-spirit-placating. I hate anthroposizing my computers, it makes all the bad little quirks of software that are the product of shithead coders seem like bad things that the computer does. But I do assign them spirits, that can be cajoled and entreated and bargained with. Because I don't like thinking that my information-processing engines are slaves without any presence, that's why.

None of it works. A combination of stress and shock ensures that my sleep is dreamless. Which I always found weird, you know? I can only very rarely remember my dreams, but when they don't happen I know it clear as day. Shook me up well bad this afternoon when I woke up.but at least I got the nine hours I needed. That's something.

Today is the day I finally catch up on all of the shite I should have done on Monday. Got into town, sorted out presents for people for the holidays, wandered and immersed myself in the drudgery of the tasks as a way to take my mind off being offline. Didn't entirely stop my hands shaking. I get physical withdrawal from just knowing I'm going to be offline. Truly I am not normal. As a perverse form of revenge for yesterday I picked up the last Invisibles. There should not be any need for me to pimp it. It just is.

Got home, read some, researched some, vegged in front of that damn Teen Titans cartoon. Say what you like about it being silly shit, that theme song has a certain "J-pop by way of Secret Agent Man" vibe which can be strangely hypnotic. Anything to let my hindbrain work. See, my desktop has issues with getting online through a dialup connection. Issues with the modem, issues with the ISP, I don't know. All I know is that I've had Hell getting it online through phone lines since getting out of Germany if not before.

Needless to say, I figured out the solution about thirty minutes ago. Hardware was the easy part. Re-seat the modem for luck, connect everything tight, dig out the extension lead my brother was using to hold down a pile of interracial lesbian porn montages of his own creation[2]. As I say, easy. The hard part was getting the software to recognise the modem, getting the modem to respond as it should to diagnostics, and a nasty bit of combination cursing and magic to get the bastard thing to hold a connection.

When it did it was like a technicolour orgasm from the other side of the looking glass. The bad thoughts of being offline for a few days with no contact with the world had done more than enough to my mind to make getting online when I would anyway be a fantastic experience. I'm still racing through the natural high now.

"Individualism is simply the redefinition of the boundaries of the nation state in the most restrictive form possible. Anarchy must therefore oppose individualism in the same way it does the nation-state."

"Application letters are the prayer-strips of capitalism."

I'd better end now, my language centres are beginning to fuck up.

[1]: Oedipus is the laptop. This desktop is Orpheus, so named because it's been through Hell and come back several times. I then figured that my computers needed a theme and weird bastards from Greek myth seemed to be as good as any.
[2]: The montages, that is. The images were the kind Kazaa will give to any idiot with a keyboard, replete with advertising.

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